Lady Stranger

Lady Stranger: Hi
Me: Hi
LS: How are you doing?
Me: I’m doing well, and you?
LS: Great.
- 3 second pause -
LS: Are you Mongolian?
Me thinking, “HUH?”: No.
LS: Oh, you’re not?
Me: No.
LS: Then, are you from China?
Me: I’m Japanese.
LS: Oh, I have a friend from Japan.
Me: Oh?
LS: You look like you’re Mongolian.
Me: ORLY?
LS: With your dress, the headband …
Me: Oh, well, I’m Japanese.
LS: Where in Japan are you from?
Me thinking, “oh great, I was born in japan so I guess I am ‘from’ japan…here’s another lame conversation”: Fukuoka.
LS: My friend is from Nagoya.
Me thinking, “I don’t care”: Oh, okay. I think that’s further north.
LS: My neighbor is Japanese. He’s planning to move to Japan.
Me: Oh.
LS: To Nagoya.
Me remembering this video, but that took place in Nagano not Nagoya: Oh.
LS: Your accent makes it seem like you were raised out here.
Me: Well, yeah, I was. I came out here when I was 8 months old.
LS: Oh, so this place is all you know then.
Me: Uh … sure …
Lady at the restaurant: Excuse me, your food’s ready.
Me excited to escape horrible conversation: Oh, okay. Thank you! Nice meeting you, bye.

I often get approached with conversations like this. Not particularly about me looking Mongolian but always about the way I look and where I’m from. Conversations like this never ever interest me. I can’t help but not be responsive. I like meeting new people but not if the conversation is about the way I look and Japanese people they know. Odds are: the only thing your Japanese friend and I have in common would be that we’re both Japanese–nothing else. Sometimes people like to tell me about their friends who are Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese or another Asian ethnicity which is completely irrelevant to me. That’s great, but I don’t talk about my white or black friends when you’re there talking to me about your yellow friends. I wouldn’t even think about associating you with my friends in the first place. Ya, I like sushi, but you won’t hear me talking about pickled herring, yams, etc etc to you.

You’re in Southern California. It’s one of the most diverse places in the world. I don’t get it.

Also, happy birthday, mike like bike!

UPDATE: I had to correct someone who was referring to an Asian man as the “oriental guy” this past week. I might have sounded a bit annoyed and/or angry, but I’ve heard too many racist comments from this particular person.







  • victor
    that video was so fucking annoying, i had to watch the whole thing to see if there was a possibility of him redeeming himself, but he failed miserably...F-!
  • Justin
    In Japan, the first thing I am asked by new aquaintances is "Doko kara kimashita ka"? (Where are you from?) I guess it is the same everywhere. People who stand out are treated differently. It's not a good thing but it is a fact. So, do I tell them where I am from? Sometimes, I do, sometimes I don't. Depends on how they ask it.
  • So, you're saying I stand out, because I'm Asian in America? Don't be fooled by what the media portrays. I live in America. I have an ethnically diverse group of American friends.

    Majority of America is filled with immigrants from a lot of different countries. These immigrants typically have children who are born and raised in America. Also, keep in mind that I am in Southern California near UCR, the 3rd most diverse college in the country.

    Japan, on the other hand, is not America. They have a long history against immigration, but they're much better now. (They're working harder now especially with the realization of a long-term crisis of a decreasing population.) So immigrants are not as common as it is in America. Clearly.

    How long were you in Japan? Have you been raised out there? When I travel to other countries, I expect to have conversations like what I mentioned above. In CA, I don't want to because of the diverse demographic. If it wasn't clear, that's where I was getting at.
  • Bill Nye has no idea what he's talking about (pity, I used to love his show). "Minority in this world"? Please do a bit of thinking about the actual power dynamics behind racism and try again.

    And Justin -

    if you are anything but ethnic Japanese in Japan, there is a very, very high possibility that you are not from there - Japan is historically not a historically immigration-friendly (unless you count occupation) country. So, unless perhaps you are Zainichi Korean (and even then, unfortunately), you are going to get that question. The sort of behavior, however, that Mamiko experienced, and that minorities in general experience on a daily basis in the US - is pretty much unacceptable given the degree of diversity (particularly in Southern California). You have to actually go out of your way to not have conversations with people from different backgrounds on a daily basis.

    I don't know if I would say that Japan is "working harder" at being "better" at immigration - more like they're "thinking about it". I watched a TV show yesterday where they deported a bunch of foreigners the other day. It was like a crime adventure show. And the police really, really love searching me out here - even more than back home.
  • lolacaust
    So asking we're someone is from, or attempting to make conversation about such a topic, is unacceptable? I understand it was a crude attempt at it, but this type of extreme racial sensitivity is what builds walls between people. Why not take the opportunity to make a change, and enlighten the person?

    From what I've read here, seems a few of you have experienced this, but no one has done anything.....
  • For most of my life, I was polite and nice to those who would ask, but sometimes enough is enough. Yes, I say most of my life, because I get this question way too often. Oh, I also get bows, "konnichiwa", "nee-how", "ching chong", and the famous karate chop action.

    It is not unacceptable to ask where someone is from per se. But if you are going to ask a stranger if they are from another country, you are implying that the stranger does not look like s/he belongs here. As mentioned many times in this thread and in the blog post, Southern California is diverse. If you are going to assume someone is from another country here, that's a bit odd.

    Also, posting this blog entry has done something. You are reading it. You and many others. Upon reading this, I'm sure you will know what you're getting yourself into before asking someone in America if s/he is from another country. If you didn't already have that in mind, I'm glad I got that concept in your head.
  • I got called an oriental once when I let this lady bum a cigarette. She said: "Oh, Camel huh? Didn't know orientals smoked these."
  • @tns What kind of an assumption is that?? Did you ask what "orientals" are supposed to be smoking?
  • jajaajajajajajajajajajajajajaja lolololololololoooo ooooooo how gayyyyyyyyy

    ya hate that shit lady
  • @leen sad thing is, she's a minority too.
  • Bill Nye
    asians aren't a minority in this world. you're not a victim.

    a person who was ignorant to your extreme racial-sensitivity tried to make basic conversation with you. boo-hoo.

    you have one life to live, maybe you shouldn't spend it being judgemental of people trying to make gentle conversation.
  • No, I'm not a victim, and neither are you. You're right. I only have one life to live and so do you. Thanks for using it to read & comment on my blog. It must be a better lifestyle than judging people trying to make conversation. LIFE IS FUN! I LOVE IT!!!

    Don't go judging me now--that's no way to live. Right?
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